Inevitably there will be times when you have setbacks or things don t go your way. Maybe you didn't get a job you thought you were sure to get. Maybe you lost a job unexpectedly, didn't win a contract, or lost a major client. Your car always seems to break down right after you've had some other unexpected expense. These kinds of situations immediately place us in crisis. They don t feel good, but sometimes they re what we need in order to grow. The beautiful thing about crises is that they force us to take a step back and reevaluate what s going on in our lives and rediscover what we truly want and need. When we get over that initial shock and feeling of disappointment, we might realize that maybe that job wasn't really the best for us anyway. Maybe, just maybe, that wasn't what you really wanted to spend your life doing. Maybe that friend was holding you back instead of pushing you forward. The way I deal with crises of these sorts is simple: If something doesn't go my way professionally, I try to create a situation that would be more rewarding than the situation originally planned. A while ago, I was offered a job that looked very promising. After I accepted the offer, they pushed the start date back three times, later informing me (via e-mail) that they wanted to bring me on in the near future but I should feel free to explore other options. I was extremely disappointed. I felt disrespected and angry, but decided to make the best of the situation and follow my dream of working internationally. I then flew to Santiago, Chile and had great professional and personal experiences I wouldn't have had otherwise. Later, reflecting back on the original opportunity, I realized that working for a company that avoids a start date three times and then can t pick up the phone to explain the situation is probably not where I need to spend my time. Use setbacks as an opportunity to put your goals in order and act on them. In the moment, it s difficult to look at a setback as temporary, but they are. They happen to everybody. It s how you respond to them that will determine how they affect you.
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In my Leadership and Personal Development (LPD) class we are assigned weekly reflections. Normally, I respond only to our professor Mary Kay. In the sake of transparency and to provide some personal insights, I’ve decided to share one of those reflections with you.
Here I am sitting in a beautiful condo in downtown Seattle. I look out of the window to my left and see the Seattle Space Needle. I look behind me, and I see the beautiful waters of the Puget Sound. Several of my goals have come to fruition. I’m in a great graduate program. I’m in a beautiful city. And I’m surrounded by wonderful people. I should be feeling great. And for the most part, I do. However, at the same time, I just can’t release this feeling of guilt—this feeling that I don’t deserve the success I’ve achieved up to this point—the feeling that I am sitting on this couch because of pure, undeserved luck. That’s what I need to let go of.
For the past several weeks, I’ve been trying to fight this feeling. I think, finally, I may be starting to win that fight. I had a conversation with a couple of friends about it and, through that conversation I learned three things.
- It’s an obligation to take full advantage of the opportunities that are presented. To not take advantage of those opportunities would be a waste.
- There are systems and institutions in place that play a major role, many of which I cannot be held responsible for (e.g., family, social, financial, educational, access, etc.)
- The best place for me to make a difference in those systems is a position of success.
Success with compassion is what they explained to me. It’s great to care, but we can’t let the caring become a debilitating factor in our quest to promote positive, social change.
I want to keep my drive. And I want to keep those positive people in my life. I want to keep making progress.
What would I like to create? I’d like to be part of a community that helps ensure that everybody has the opportunity to dream.
My first week in Seattle has come to a close. With class, homework, and work, it was a very full week. However, it’s good to be back in my element at work. I’m enjoying being creative again. At BGI (from the perspective of employee), there is a LOT to do, but I welcome the challenge. Regardless of the amount of work, it’s great to belong to an organization whose purpose is to make the world a better place.
I saw my first bulesque show at The Can Can. My friend Laura, who I haven’t seen in several years, has been living in Seattle for the past few years and introduced me to the place. I enjoyed the creative and laid back atmosphere, the show was good, and the food was amazing. She is also an amazing artist and was involved in an open house at Inscape on Airport Blvd. South.
Lastly, I finished up the week volunteering with Treehouse For Kids with the Southwestern Alumni Assocation of the Pacific Northwest. Southwestern University was representing yesterday from 10:00 a.m. PST to 2:00 p.m. PST. I’ll follow up with more of what Treehouse For Kids does in an upcoming post, but to put it succintly, they run a store in which foster children can shop for clothes, toys, accessories, and school supplies for free. It was an honor to be involved and I’m thankful they let me join them in their work.
